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She, being a good mormon girl, protests and refuses. I just said "Sheena? I had to wait for my coat at coat check.

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She then in an act of pure defiance pulled out some sort of candy bar from her purse and said "I'm happy with how I look, and you would have gotten lucky tonight". Learn more Got it. I turn her down again and she funny dating fails gets out of my car and goes into the apartment we shared.

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We went out a bar for our first date. He seemed intelligent and sweet, so I agreed to go to a movie and funny dating fails dinner with him. She was one beautiful girl, and I even joined a choir to get to know her better. She pretended her honesty was intelligence, and it definitely wasn't.

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We walk back to her place, she invites me inside. As he looked at me in complete shock and concern I panicked and for some reason said that Chinese food made me really emotional.

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Confused I asked "um This was a second date with a girl that I actually really liked. Abnd we were both being comfortably dorky.

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She was very interesting to me. And he left one hand stretched across the table in a clear invitation for me to hold it.

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She actually wanted me to cut her abdomen open. She took the bus up and we hung out all day.

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She takes off all my clothes. So I had just gotten out of a long term relationship and was being encouraged to get back into the game and not "sit around sulking", so I decided to join OkCupid.

I was mentally saying goodbye to my currently not-stabbed body, and was praying it would stay that way. Story Hero stalks jerkboyfriend and eventually murders him. So I rode it out, avoiding being cornered into conversations and keeping a careful eye on her car for the first chance to split. Oh now wait it's back to the sex subject and she says wants to but she's afraid and doesn't know what to do, and so at this point I stop her.

Now I'm freaking, cause how did she find my house!!!! For a while after that, about once a week or so I would come home from school to a bouquet of roses on my doorstep. She looks over at me, and I quote, "What the hell is your problem?! I try turning the taps on. Afterwards, I met some people who thought my story was hilarious and bought me a few drinks at a bar around the corner.

I remember asking her how she fit tampons in and she said "oh I haven't had a period in almost a year. I told her that if she had told me funny dating fails the first few dates that she had herpes I wouldn't have judged her, I could live with that in a relationship if you discuss it like an adult first.

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It was horrendously awkward to say the least. One of the women who was at the door went, "Oh, Alice. I looked at Alice, a little fearful that this was an intentional encounter, but when I saw her face, I saw a look more shocked that I was.

I took her to see a live version of "Hedwig and the Angry Inch. We met up, got dinner, saw a movie, and went back to my place to just hang out and chat. If you were a romcom protagonist, you would then say "I am done with men! In fact, that night we shared a sleeping bag.